Recently it was the 3 year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. I celebrated with a beautiful dinner out with my husband Paul.
It was a moment of celebration and also reflection of the incredibly hard times we have all been through as a family, but have managed to get through as well as we can.
I've also stopped chemo for a while. Its a very strange feeling.....
I went in for my routine scans during maintenance chemo and then in to my meeting with my oncologist, where she said after 20 months of clear scans it was time to stop chemo for three months and see what happens. She never thought we would be at this point and neither did I.
I was elated! I was so over chemo!!!! I know I had to have it but I really was completely worn out physically and emotionally after 2 years straight of monthly chemo treatments.
I remained on the hormone blocker so was still on some treatment, but the side effects are nothing compared to pumping chemical into your body every month.
I've enjoyed the last three months without chemo immensely and when it came time to have my next scan I had totally prepared myself to be going back in for chemo and for my cancer to have relapsed.
The scan was clear!
I was happy to hear this but I'm not sure I was emotionally prepared for this. I didn't leave the room fist pumping. It's very hard to explain to someone who hasn't been through this.
Paul was quite cross with me. Why didn't I appear happier?
The thing is Ovarian Cancer is not curable. I have another scan in three months time and that is always hanging over your head. My cancer will return it is just a matter of when.
Life with chemo was somewhat altered for me so that I avoided risky situations of infection and had time to recover. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely grateful every day to be alive!!
So where to now? Its like I'm in limbo. Living life but not quite to the fullest.......
In Australia one woman dies every ten hours from ovarian cancer.
The Ovarian Cancer Research Foundation is working hard to support finding a cure and developing an early detection test for ovarian cancer. To find out more visit the OCRF.
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